Ruminations and recipes from a small kitchen in a big city.

3.4.07

How to rob a restaurant.

First, never shoot your accomplice.

'A bungling armed robber shot his female accomplice as they held up a restaurant in the Dandenong Ranges east of Melbourne overnight.'

Second, remember that the plastic bag doesn't always contain the takings:

'The pair demanded the staff member hand over a black plastic bag, which it is thought they believed contained the restaurant's takings. However, the bag actually held left-over bread rolls, which the staff member was planning to feed to his chickens.'

Third, never try to deny chickens their bread rolls.

'Restaurant General Manager Horst Lantzsch said the bandits then demanded the staff member's car keys. He said as the staff member handed over the car keys, the shotgun discharged, wounding the woman in the stomach.'

General Manager Horst can't resist a handy food metaphor, even in the face of a crisis:

' "She dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes." '

He would know potatoes, of course - the Cuckoo is a German theme restaurant.

Horst talks about the robbery here.

He doesn't mention the chickens. I hope they got their rolls.

6 comments:

MyKitchenInHalfCups said...

Oh, I do too. It would be criminal for the chicks to go without their rolls.
I simply love stupid crime stories!

neil said...

Did they ever find out what happened to the original owner who just disappeared? I bet there's a story in there somewhere.

kitchen hand said...

Yes, HalfCups, especially when they are this stupid!

Neil, I had forgotten that - i must do some research.

Lesley said...

The story goes...the man took his wounded accomplice to his sisters place, she then took her to hospital. He rang the hospital to find out how she was, they asked him to leave his phone number so they could give him regular updates, he obliged. The local constabulaory paid him a vist. BINGO.

I love stuff like this!

Lucy said...

I laughed very, very hard when I heard this story. So much so that I actually fell off the couch, knocking the dog off her bed.

Am glad that the story has more to it. Thankyou for making me laugh all over again.

Spike said...

Brilliant news story that one. I pissed myself about the bread rolls.